There is something to be said about turning the pages of a new book that I find satisfying. I spend most of my day reading on the computer, so I genuinely enjoy the opportunity to smell a new book. Yes, I just let a little of my inner nerd seep out, but it’s the truth. I enjoy cracking open a new book. Nothing excited me more than spending time choosing a new book and browsing a book store with a hot latte until I found the perfect one. COVID changed things for sure. I still shop for new books all the time, albeit they arrive in the mail now via one of five Amazon trucks that deliver to the house the same day.
I’ve been reading “Necessary Endings” by Dr. Henry Cloud. The idea of the book is simple. Many of us have relationships (personal or professional) that we need to evaluate and possibly end to move forward in life. Dr. Cloud states, “Endings are not only part of life; they are a requirement for living and thriving, professionally and personally.”
I started writing blogs years ago, before the pandemic, and it’s even more apparent that many necessary endings have been happening in our lives. Some of them will be entirely out of our control. Businesses evaluated if they could remain open; many closed their doors for good. Our favorite restaurants switched to take-out only, reduced hours due to staffing issues, and many plan to keep these new ways of serving in place. Parents and grandparents hated being alone and found that Facetime was their only safe interaction with children and grandchildren until people felt safely vaccinated.
CHANGE IS COMING. Back to the “New Normal”
The second school year of remote learning has concluded in our house. Many tears and tantrums occurred, mostly by me, but we made it through! It appears the world is opening up. It’s nice to see people smiling again; it’s nice to be in the office and collaborate with team members in person. Many people are now working hybrid schedules when they can to continue to support the work/life balance we’ve all become accustomed to over the last year and a half.
The stay-at-home orders forced old practices and outdated systems to update to evolve to survive in the future. The state revised the PA unemployment website for the first time in decades. We all had to take it one moment at a time and roll with it. I now listen to church online, Facetime my therapist, and hold a virtual meeting with my HR Generalists every day. We’ve even played Yahtzee while having a beer with friends over Facetime. Now that change is coming- we’re resuming those activities in person and collaborating and celebrating each other. Some are finally mourning the death of loved ones who died during COVID and couldn’t pay proper respects. The job market is changing, and interviewing is different. Employers can’t drag their feet on hiring an all-star candidate. While indecisive managers are “thinking” about hiring a candidate, competitors are hiring them. Organizations have to put thought into doing business differently than it has in the past to stay attractive in the marketplace for candidates.
BECOMING A BETTER LEADER WITH MORE GRACE AND FAITH
LESS JUDGEMENT AND FEAR
I wanted to learn how to be a better leader. I found that through the last year, I was at times judgmental and fearful over so many things that were out of my control. I learned I needed to be careful wandering around looking for someone or something to blame through crisis, especially when it’s fear that is driving. During this last year, I’ve seen typically calm and rational people become anxiety-riddled balls of emotion. Everyone was scared for various reasons. Being laid off for the first time in their lives, MILLIONS of people were on unemployment for the first time. The list of reasons goes on and on. It was very overwhelming and many times I felt, just like everyone I’ve talked to, that I was on an island. The anxiety was rampant but I learned anxiety is not the diagnosis; anxiety was the symptom of something else. How did I find freedom from fear and anxiety? I feed my FAITH.
Fear and hope cannot occupy the same space. Invite one to stay.
Maya Angelou
I’ve listened to the most rational people I know say some of the most asinine comments they’ve ever spoken out of their mouths. Why? I believe it’s fear. FEAR is a liar, and your mind is his playground if you allow it. What were the lies? “We’ll never get out of these times. We’ll never recover from this. I’ll never work again; the children will never recover from this. I’m a horrible home school teacher. I am alone.” The lies went on and on. We all lived at such a high level of stress, but we don’t have to! We can stop feeding the anxiety and fear. It is possible to find freedom from anxiety during the most stressful times if we learn to lean in and find faith in the small moments.
Cindy Beall authored an article called “How to choose Kindness and Patience when you don’t’ feel like it.” She said, “Whether we’re in a difficult time as a nation or individually, we can’t let fear or worry overtake us. These negative emotions can dictate our lives to the point where we feel as if we’ve lost control. Our feelings are a way of letting us know where we stand, but they should not govern how we act… (See 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.) We can choose kindness and patience, even when it’s challenging to do so.”
Take some time to check where you are emotionally before you respond to something. If you find yourself leaning towards anxious thoughts. Take a walk, breathe, do something to recognize why you feel different. Find a mentor to talk through it. You’ll be better for it in the long run.
- Cloud, H. (2011). Necessary endings: the employees, businesses, and relationships that all of us have to give up in order to move forward. New York: HarperCollins.
Rise Above Solutions 